Which words should NEVER be in a speech or presentation? Part2
Following on from yesterday’s blog, I have a second edition – authored entirely by friends and followers!
A round of applause to Scott Westron for a long list – his contributions are wide ranging, typically caustic, pithy – and some are very funny.:) Embarassingly I am guilty of one of them!!! Scott will not be impressed!
Scott Westron
- “a catalogue of errors” – ban. It’s what, exactly? Why not say ‘many’, ‘numerous’, ‘several’, ‘lots of’ errors?
- “Risk-averse” – It’s cautious / prudent. As opposed to being caution-averse?
- “Core Values” – Makes me cringe.
- “Key Performance Indicator” – ghastly phrase so frequently misused especially when abbreviated to KPI. Same as SLA, also grim.
- “In a league of our own” – Well, clearly not. That wouldn’t be a league – you can’t have a league of one.
- Best / Worse “Case Scenario. Presumably they normally mean Best / Worst ‘outcome’ or ‘result”.
- “One-to-one” Meeting. You mean a meeting between two people or in plainer speaking, just “a meeting”.
- “Can I help you?” I don’t know, can you? “Can I ask you a question?” You just have. Why ask to ask?
- “Any spare change, guv?” What’s spare change? There’s no such thing: it’s never ‘spare’. Do you have money you wish to donate?
- “All one word” or “all in lower-case” when describing how a website / email address is written. Neither is case sensitive … + it’s not one word, they’re more than one but have no spaces between them. ‘peterbotting’ – obviously two words, no space.
- “SO” when used like an American with ridiculous emphasis. I am SO not impressed. So why don’t they just say I’m not impressed?
- Referring to products as ‘bronze, silver, gold and platinum’ – always looks so dated and tacky.
- “Bespoke” e.g. Bespoke Solutions. Especially when not actually bespoke. They should mean customised / made to spec.
- “Timeless” [e.g. Timeless Design”] When they mean that in their view the design unlikely to look dated in the near future.
- “Gesture of Goodwill” – it’s a nauseating phrase which makes one feel like a charity. Please accept £5 GOGW – really?
- People who add ‘URGENT’ or ‘Response Required’ or ‘Please Reply ASAP’ atop of emails. I’ll reply when I can.
- “I am sorry you feel” [e.g.that our service has been poor]. Don’t be sorry for how I feel, be sorry that your service is poor!
- “Unfortunately…” at the start of a response. Terrible habit. It’s not unfortunate, it’s nothing to do with luck / fortune.
- “Obviously, especially when used in a customer service environment. “Obviously Mr W,” when it’s anything but bloody obvious.
- Rhetorically asking “well, you know?” at the start / end of a sentence – often it’s clear that the other person doesn’t.
- Adding ‘mate’ at the end of a sentence.
- People who say ‘No offense but…’ and then proceed to be deliberately and unambiguously offensive.
- “Polite Notice” (a) Why does a notice need a heading at all? (b) If it must have a heading, make it relevant to the message. c) Saying it’s a polite notice doesn’t mean it actually is polite.
- All sporting sayings used in business. ‘Close of Play’, ‘Back of the net’, ‘Touch-down’, ‘Hole in one”. All unforgivable.
- In work emails, “Please action” – they mean, please ‘do’ or ‘please …’. ‘Please action me a pint of beer.’ Of course not.
- Incomprehensible used when they mean ‘complex’. It can be comprehended, it’s just hard to.
- ‘Unimaginable’ when what they really mean is ‘not pleasant to imagine’. E.g. torture / pain – unimaginable suffering. I can!
- ‘Incomparable’. Rarely is anything said to be incomparable, actually incomparable: more often very easy to compare.
- Same goes for ‘unspeakable’, used often on news when – speaking – about something. Clearly not unspeakable.
- This or that was ‘impossibly’ hard to do. No, it may be ‘very’ hard to do, but since it’s been done, it’s clearly possible!
William Wong
- YOU KNOW, KIND OF … LIKE
Tim Crossland
- Use of the word ‘ask’ as a noun.
Chris Emmett
- Really passionate?
- Honestly believe?
- To be honest?
- OK guys let’s turn our brains inside out and look at this another way…….
Alexandra Ranson
- “Hard working families”
Duncan Flynn
- “blue sky thinking”
Melissa Conway
- “Moving forward” is a pet hate of mine.
- Also trying to make basic concepts sound original by the use of superfluous language/verbiage etc. Plain English gets you much more respect and attention, every time.
