Losing your job is hard. Picking yourself up is tougher. You may have been fired or made redundant, but returning to the job market is essential for your wallet and head. You are a seasoned and accomplished executive. There is hope, but you also need to take action. I mean targeted action here btw – one C-suite client told me they’d applied online for 65 online jobs: 0 interviews, and only 12% acknowledged the application!! Don’t confuse activity with action.
But first – you’re probably not feeling great right now: congratulations – this means you are human. Acknowledging and understanding this helps you move forward.
Why does being made redundant or laid off hurt so much?
First, let’s unpack those words. Fired or made redundant/laid off. Both suck. One is supposed to be better than the other, but it still hurts and is still challenging. What if you were one of a thousand that were laid off and made redundant … ok, so the dirty cloud of having been fired (and the default worst-case assumptions that it was for stealing or fraud or punching your boss) doesn’t hang over you. But… it still sucks, and the competition pool just grew by 999. So it’s a small consolation. People, including those giving you the news, always say “It’s not personal.” That’s not how it feels. Ever. It always feels personal. Rejection is always personal.
A particularly smart C-suite client (all my clients are smart!) said that the experience was like the stages of grief – anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She was encouraged to “feel the feels” to get to acceptance faster — because after that is when action is allowed to happen. She taped this to her mirror: “Remember, you are not starting over. You are starting from experience.” She tells me: “This was really helpful to me and reminded me that my job was made redundant— and I, as a person, was not redundant. I still had value and a lot to offer.” She now has another C-suite job and is on the Board of her Alma Mater.
Having a job is part of our identity, particularly for men. It happens in every social encounter, every family gathering, and even a visit to your local (safe)haven; the local pub isn’t safe anymore.
The innocent, friendly and benign questions pierce you like freshly sharpened darts. “Hey, how’s work?” or “What’s happening at work?”, “How’s your week been?”, “Where are you lot off to on holiday this year?” or “Have you seen the new Model X – have you put your name down yet?”
All these friendly questions are unwitting, reproachful reminders of what’s happened.
Then the truth comes out, and it gets worse. There is initial sympathy, warm words of support and encouragement and maybe even a hug. The reality is that they treat you like you’ve got an infectious disease – they’ve looked over the abyss, and the fear is contagious. They all think – it could’ve been me.
Awkward silences happen, and suddenly it’s as if your presence has become a cloak of gloom, and people stop talking when you enter the room; you start staying away from the pub to save the pennies and avoid the awkwardness. Out of the blue, you notice people have stopped inviting you to events because they don’t like the awkward moments either.
You might be like the middle-aged suit in The Full Monty who kept his shameful secret away from his wife, who was happily spending money that wouldn’t be earned or received, booking holidays they’d never take and getting deliveries that would be repossessed. He dressed in a suit daily, packed his briefcase and spent the day in the Job Centre or the library.
The shame problem is particularly strong with men – our identity is so closely connected to our business card, and our identity frames all our relationships with partners, spouses, children, friends, neighbours and our broader social circle. What we do for a living defines who we are.
Women are usually better at separating who they are from what they do. But they are also often the only breadwinner or the primary breadwinner. Some of my female clients have earned multiples of what their husband earns. They “get it” and understand the pressure too. But as in many things, they are better at this than men.
But losing your job is terrible whether you are a man or a woman. Getting back in the (CV-appropriate) saddle as soon as possible gets the cash coming in again, protects the family home, keeps your relationships where they were and stops those awkward interview questions. It also is good for your mental health.
But too often, people fall into a rut of despair and inaction after losing their job – and it’s easy to get depressed and change your old work routines for unproductive “doing nothing at home” routines. Having a plan, acting on that plan and staying mentally and physically healthy are essential to giving yourself a fighting chance. Giving up is easy – you’re reading this because you haven’t yet. Or you haven’t decided to yet. Action drives out depression. Depression needs space – give it none.
“action alleviates anxiety”
Act like the senior executive you are
You were a C-suiter or a C-1, C-2 or C-3 – effectively a Colonel or a General in your last job – with a staff, specialists, and people you could delegate to – now you’re on your own. But you are still a senior exec or manager. Act like one. Get a coach (Eric Schmidt of Google said, “Everyone needs a coach.” if not now, then when?) and start drafting a focused plan, work the plan, identify who and what you need, and then recruit and delegate – that’s what you did in your last job, right?
Take full advantage of any help or coaching or CV writing your employer might finance or provide. Get your kids or AI to do your draft research.
Nobody can guarantee you will get back where you were. But I guarantee you that formulating and acting on a targeted plan, identifying gaps in your CV and working on them, and taking steps to present at your best and work on your physical and mental health will give you a better chance. After all, a chance is what you want them to give you – so why not give yourself a chance first?
Updated for 2023:
Not long ago, global unemployment records were at all-time lows; talent was the hot resource and wage growth was exhilarating. Now layoffs or redundancies are regular news items, small and medium-sized businesses that survived COVID lockdowns are fighting growing energy bills, and reductions in demand and the potential of tech advances, including AI and Chat GPT, mean that demand for jobs is higher. Supply is lower, resulting in massive competition for good jobs in good companies (insert your own definition for good). Some would argue it’s harder than ever to stay in a role, let alone find a new one.
But with the right approach, you can survive this tsunami-like wave and come out on top. Here are some additions to the previous tips on this post to help you ride the wave in the current job market:
- Focus on your personal development and digital skills
The job market has shifted significantly towards digital, so ensure you have the necessary digital skills. Consider taking online courses (like the ones on LinkedIn), attending webinars or workshops, and staying up-to-date with the latest technology trends. But also invest in your primary money earner – yourself. The more you know, the more valuable you become. “More valuable” might not mean more money – it might simply mean: a job or no job. During lockdown, I took two brilliant Harvard courses on Leadership and Remote Work that I found on edx.org, a superb online education portal set up by Harvard and MIT that now offers a variety of courses from numerous good universities. It’s a platform well worth checking out.
- Build your online presence
Employers are increasingly using social media to screen (out) candidates. Make sure your online presence reflects positively on you. Keep your LinkedIn profile up-to-date and professional, and consider creating a personal website or blog to showcase your work, writing style, opinions, and thought leadership pieces.
- Consider widening your search or purely remote work.
With the rise of remote work, consider applying for jobs that allow you to work remotely. This broader geographical search will open up more opportunities and may be more convenient for you.
- Get Zoom-Interview ready.
Virtual interviews have become the norm due to the pandemic and will continue to be the standard early gate or filter. Download all the appropriate apps (Zoom, Teams etc.). Check your profile names and ensure you have a reliable internet connection, professional background, and lighting for virtual interviews.
I wrote the post below for CityAM in 2014. It’s still valid. https://www.cityam.com/how-pick-yourself-after-losing-your-job/
Coping with life after redundancy
1. Get a reference
Depending on what the circumstances were when you left your job, attempt to get a reference. This may be difficult but can be very beneficial when trying to get back into the job market. It might be a customer or colleague if your boss can’t be trusted to be sufficiently enthusiastic
2. Stay in the game
You may feel you want to take a break from work or your industry, but the longer you are out of it; the harder it will be to get back in. Instead, stay in contact with former colleagues, develop a wider network of contacts, sign up for a new course or learn a new related skill. Keep your ear to the ground and keep up with the goings-on within the industry.
3. Stay positive
Do not spend time brooding and dwelling over what went wrong – this can be counter-initiative and unhelpful. Don’t complain about your last employer to your friends – or, worse, in a job interview. See your time at your previous work as a positive experience which has set you up to get a better job.
4. Remodel yourself
See losing your job as an opportunity to pursue a new career. Consider what it was about the last job that you enjoyed and hated; think about whether that industry is right for you. Losing your job is the perfect chance to consider what your goals are in your career, now is the time to decide the best course of action is to achieve these goals.
5. Take time to think and grieve and rest
Take a week off straight after “It” happens. Spend time with friends and family. In the military, this would be called R & R – rest and recuperation. You need to recuperate. To lick your wounds, spend quiet time. Even adopt the foetal position for a few days. But by day three, you need to be up, doing exercise like swimming, walking or jogging and watching movies with friends. Comedies and light things that make you laugh and forget and heal. But remember – on day eight, get into action – rested and focused.
What to do when you lose your job in your 40’s or 50’s?
I get it; it’s scary. With the world relying on you, with the alleged ‘best part’ of your career behind you, what CAN you do?
Firstly, admit it to yourself – changing careers or finding your dream job can be daunting.
This is why I’ve put together the Filtered OUT series of Interview books. The first two books in the series are already available.
The published books in the series are two affordable, easily digestible interview preparation books, Filtered Out and Filtered Out The Workbook.
Both are ideal wherever you are in the job-hunting process – you may be just starting out after graduating, looking to make a career change or getting employed again. These books provide practical tips, exercises, and real-world examples to help you navigate the job market and land your dream job.
Filtered OUT – The WorkBOOK – Your CareerCompanion.
This 15 000 word workbook describes the Interview Questions You WILL be Asked, I explain the thinking behind the questions and suggest ways of answering them, and then you write your answers in the book. It’s a real career companion. Some have called it a career hack.
Filtered OUT – How to stop being Filtered OUT at Interviews. This is around 18 000 words of advice on preparing for and handling interviews – roughly 15 000 of which were commissioned and published by City AM.
So, don’t give up hope if you feel lost or overwhelmed. You can improve your career chances with the right mindset, easy-to-use career tools, and a plan. Head to Amazon now via the links above and pick up your copy of Filtered Out and Filtered Out The Workbook, and start taking steps towards your dream job.
Click the covers below to find them on Amazon:
