Denise Graveline.
My Friend and Coach
I lost a great ally, friend, critic, coach, collaborator, prodder, supporter, business accomplice and more when Denise Graveline died.
Taking time off from work in Germany at Hemingway’s Cafe in Heidelberg. Fair to say - she approved! (Photo is obviously post-breakfast!)
Denise insisted on these pictures when I took her on a tour of Sussex. She thought they were hilarious!
Denise and I catching a breath at TEDMED 2014 outside the Green Room of the Kennedy Centre in Washington D.C.
She spoke often about our virtual partner desk over the Atlantic - which was Skype every Monday and Messenger chat or video almost every day.
I only recently took the Monday lunch-my-time-and-breakfast-her-time slot out of my diary. Its replacement is the anniversary of that crappy day - the 9th of February - when she passed away.
Anyone who knew her properly knew that she didn’t like being told what to do at the best of times...so listening to another speaker coach was quite a big deal for her emotionally! She didn’t have much regard for many who profess this trade so it was a privilege to have coached her. Even if she was occasionally cranky and snarly with me during the process.
She gave me this magnificent speechwriters’ tour which she developed into a private speechwriters’ tour of Washington for people she liked and she blogged about it. Of course. I was very grumpy when she told me that the rib joint from House of Cards wasn’t on the tour - because it didn’t actually exist. Sweetly, she left my grumpiness out.
Denise Graveline and her blogs, Don't Get Caught and The Eloquent Woman which included Famous Speech Friday, were almost inseparable. She used her voice daily and promoted and gave a platform to other voices.
Denise introduced me to TEDMED and she would often send me her private clients when they had pressing deadlines and she was struggling for time. We coached together and were always in sync - it was as if we were choreographed but we weren’t. Spooky but cool. But it was still a scary privilege to be trusted by Denise Graveline with one of her clients!
She’d worked in and around government, federal government agencies, corporations, universities and nonprofits but she started her career in journalism. She was awarded Washington Women in PR (WWPR) Woman of the Year 2002 and had written for (her favourite President) Bill Clinton and worked for Al Gore. (Here she spoke to WWPR)
She was highly allergic to mansplaining and is perfectly and appropriately quoted in this article (snippet below):
And here she is in this properly information-rich video of her working with Mozilla, the makers of the Firefox browser.
She was recognised by Toastmasters International in an article about influential bloggers.
And went on to have one of her articles on the front cover of Toastmaster Magazine.
She had a memory that a librarian would kill for and seemed to know everything and always had an answer, or would very quickly find an answer when I annoyed her with questions and treated her like a search engine.
She always claimed to have a cast-iron stomach and, after her impressive career, to be surprised by nothing but able to handle (almost) everything. But deep down she was a big softie.
Denise battled lymphoma and then Guillain-Barré syndrome but was stubbornly planning to visit the UK before she caught a fatal infection after a routine visit to the hospital. She died on February 9, 2018. Her family and I were, and sort of still are, in shock - typically, she’d kept the severity of her condition a secret.
But her work lives on.
Denise Graveline’s public legacy was as an advocate for women: She was perpetually indignant that half of the world’s population wasn’t given a fair shot, or fair pay, or a fair voice.
Denise collected and wrote about 270 speeches by women - a collection that actually warrants that overused word AWESOME! There are videos, transcripts and tips - it’s a real treasure trove of high-quality content between her two blogs (at least a blog to read a day for over 450 days!!!) and it’s well worth a (daily) visit!
Here are a few tasters…
She made a huge impact on so many people’s lives and she gave so many people the voice they wanted, needed and deserved.
Here are some favourite pictures...
Denise hand-delivered a signed TEDMED board from our TEDMED colleagues after my first TEDMED conference in the Kennedy Centre in Washington D.C.
We put partisan politics aside* and went with John Shosky, speechwriter and coach extraordinaire who really knows what he’s talking about, to listen to some amazing jazz at Blues Alley in Georgetown. John got us a superb front row table and I was mesmerised. *they both wrote for U.S. Presidents
Schwetzingen Café. Fair to say - she approved!
Buster, Denise and Danny, who interned for me.
Denise was delighted at my glee at walking in Rock Creek Park to the west of D.C. but wasn’t always so keen on coming with me!
Palm Springs Airport is sooooo cool!!
I introduced Denise to Schwetzingen which she loved - I think she took a hundred photos there! This was my only permitted revenge photo.
Denise had two memorial services. Well she would, wouldn’t she? I was at a wedding in the UK which clashed with the big one in Washington but flew to the U.S. for the private one with family and close friends where I was delighted to be welcomed. And forgiven for giving an emotional and unprofessional speech.
RIP Denise Graveline. My friend and coach.